I had a bad day. (I know. . .it’s been that type of year.)
I got angry, and wanted to quit. But, after speaking with my mom, I realized . . . it was just a bad day.
I am here for a purpose. I often think it’s crazy how I got to my current position. I find myself constantly surrounded with people who are “officially smart.” (And know it. . . and don’t want anyone to forget it.) Those who do what I do generally had the best grades in law school, and were real standouts.
Not, the girl who just gets by academically, (at least my first year- my grades improved significantly after that, but the funny thing about law school is that your whole trajectory is often determined in your first semester, and cemented by the second) spending her free time with her boyfriend and at the school’s dance studio, taking all the dance classes she can fit into her schedule.
I was literally Elle Woods from Legally Blonde (minus the blonde, privileged, sorority life- and the good grades in law school)- I woke up one morning, decided I was going to law school, and then, I went. I had no idea what I was getting into, or really, what I was going to do. That lack of focus followed me into my first year, and the results were less than stellar- but nonetheless I finished law school, graduated, and started a job as an assistant prosecutor in my hometown.
So, here’s my point. We don’t always know why we are doing the things we feel compelled to do. Sometimes, along the way we find ourselves having REALLY bad days, having to re-adjust our goals and our focus, and we may ask ourselves, why am I here? Why am I doing this? Well, I believe we are where we are for a reason. That everything comes together for our good and for us to cement our purpose here on earth.
Literally, every experience that I have had from law school- including the experience of not getting great grades, has served to help me help another person. I can explain to students that I know what it’s like to study really hard, and still struggle- and how I overcame that experience. I used to explain to clients that I understand what it’s like to make a stupid decision- and look up and realize the consequences took me down a road that I never anticipated- where I hurt others- and was called to the carpet to atone for my actions. I can look back to where I was, and where I am now, and realize that I never imagined that this is where my life would take me- but I am so blessed and fortunate for it all.
So, I’m still finding my purpose. But, I move forward optimistically, and with flexibility- on purpose. I purposely strive to be a better me- every single day. Even on bad ones. . .
Lady in Yellow